The Second Week
If a week is a long time in politics, the second week in sorting things out for Mum has seemed even longer.
After the great surge of work I had to achieve last week, this week has seen an amalgamation of gentler things to do: writing letters - mostly writing letters! - and catching up on phone calls, and thanking people for their kind thoughts about Mum.
I have been getting 4 kinds of post:
1) The official stuff - all fine, all coped with perfectly efficiently.
2) Letters and cards of sympathy for Mum - we are extremely touched and happy to have them, and to read how people really appreciated Mum. It's also very kind when folks reassure us that we have always done the best for her, to make her happy and give her the best life possible. The thing is, people usually focus on how we made good memories for Mum; but, as I think I've written before, this works both ways. Not only did Mum have good memories, we are also blessed with them as well.
3) Birthday cards for me
4) Easter cards for us all
I always keep our Easter and Birthday cards in an album anyway, but I shall make another album for all the beautiful cards and tributes people have sent to us for Mum. She loved the very special album I made for her Birthday celebrations, and I am so thankful I got on with that early enough, for her to enjoy looking through it and remembering the lovely time she enjoyed for her 100th, so I am sure it's the right thing to do for these Sympathy, "Thinking of You" cards, letters and e-mails, as well.
Wednesday 1 April
It was two weeks ago today, that Mum came home from Hospital; time stretches and contracts so erratically, and at the moment I can't believe it's been such a short time, and yet on another level, with all we have had to do, it seems a very long time ago.
As arranged last week, a gentleman from Millbrook Health Care came today and collected the Birdie Hoist and the airbed mattress and pump. I had thought they would also collect the slings Mum had used; however, these were not on the list, so the gentleman could not take them. I will have to ring Millbrook again, and see what they will do about them. The slings have been checked on a regular basis (also by Millbrook) and always passed as safe to use; it would be a dreadful waste of money if they were just thrown away.
Today, we also sorted out a lot of Mum's older nighties. When Mum got home from hospital on 18 March, the ladies couldn't get the nighties over her head and pull them down to dress her properly, so to make things easier for Mum, we slit them up the back, as far as the neckline. I suppose it would not be impossible to stitch a long seam and mend them, but it would take a while to do it by hand, and the material is quite old, and very thin. We have decided they will serve a good turn cleaning Romulus, our steam engine, so they shall have a new and useful purpose in life. Mum liked steam trains, so I think it is an appropriate use for nighties that really cannot be mended; it's certainly better than just throwing them out.
Wendy liked a lot of Mum's Damart tops - they are pretty, warm, and fit her, and so will enjoy a renaissance when Wendy wears them. I have also taken a very pretty top, that Mum had as a Christmas present one year, and I shall take great pleasure in wearing it.
I am not in any rush to clear anything out. Everything will be done carefully and thoughtfully, and in its own good time, when we are ready.
Wendy told me about a friend of hers who is getting married, and this lady has incorporated a piece of her mother's dress into her own Wedding gown, to give her a lovely reminder of her Mum, and continuity. Thinking along those lines, I thought I might make a table runner, using a piece of strong material, and appliqué pieces salvaged from Mum's favourite old clothes.
With this in mind, two nighties had a print of a cat on the front, with "Glamour Puss" underneath; I cut them out, along with some pretty lacy bits from various Berketex jumpers. Mum loved those jumpers! and when they became fragile and frayed, or developed holes, I used to mend them, finding just the right shade of thread to make invisible repairs. That sort of thing will be good to remember; and Mum always looked nice.
Thursday 2 April, Friday 3 April
More writing, more catching up... all the boring stuff that needs doing, so don't complain, don't hold a meeting about how to do it, or prioritising. It's all important, so "just get on with it" is the best policy.
Saturday, 4 April - a week since I celebrated my birthday.
Obviously I couldn't have a party (where was my Tea at the Ritz reservation?!) but I had beautiful cards and presents, and Wendy wrote a wonderful poem for me, to accompany the card she gave me.
I don't feel any older. A bit tireder, maybe!
When all this worry with the virus is over, I am sure we shall arrange a joint celebration for us all - and raise another glass of champagne in honour and memory of Mum.
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