We Celebrate Barbara's Birthday
It was such a joyful day when at long last, back in April, we met up again with my dear friend, Barbara. She is now living in a care home, and she is clearly very well looked after; the staff made us so welcome, and we promised it wouldn't be long before we came back to visit her again.
Barbara celebrates her birthday on 21 August, and I knew this year would be her 86th, so I wanted to make something special just for her alone, and hopefully a really personal gift, that would perhaps help to bring back some happy memories.
The lady who lives in the house next door to where Barbara used to live had very kindly retrieved some photographs for me. There were three framed studio portraits of Barbara and and her Mum and Dad; whenever I visited Barbara in her house, I remembered seeing them displayed on the mantelpiece, so I was delighted to have those. The frames were in sore need of refurbishment and repair, so Bob got on with making them look like new, and ensuring the back support was good a strong and would stand up properly again.
Her neighbour had also collected over 130 loose photos as well, so I decided to create a traditional photo album for Barbara's birthday present.
Barbara's birthday photo album
There followed an interesting 7 or 8 weeks; very few photos had anything written on them to say who the people were, or where the snaps had been taken, so I just had to do my best, and try to get them into some sort of chronological order. I know the family went to Portland Bill in Dorset, because there were several pics of them in front of the lighthouse, sporting a large signpost saying "Portland Bill" - with more arms indicating distances and directions to other places!
There were also a couple of press prints from the Burton Observer, showing a bridge that had been washed away - presumably in a flood or storm. I wondered if there would be archive information available, so I rang the newspaper, but it's all mobile phone numbers for journalists now, and although I left several messages, no-one came back to me. Sometimes I think they don't want the past to exist.
Another professional print showed a beautiful wedding group, taken on 16 October 1943; it had been hand tinted as well. The name of the studio - J S Simnett - was printed on the card frame, so I Googled the address of the studio, and to my delight, it is still in business; I found a phone number, and called them. I had a lovely conversation with a lady who was continuing to run it; she was so pleased I had pursued the link, but the sad news was that many years ago, someone in charge of the studio had decided to have "a clear out," and had thrown away many old negatives, appointment books and information.
What a dreadful thing to do; J S Simnett go back to 1863, so there must have been so much history destroyed by someone who considered it just "junk," with no sense of the importance of ephemera, and primary source material, and how such memories and information are very precious. Thus we shall never know who the happy couple were who wed on 16 October 1943.
So, I persevered with what I had. There were a couple of pictures of a very strange sea creature; I have no idea what it is! but I have made scans of them and in due course I will try and find out what it is.
I wrote a poem for Barbara as well; Bob took a photograph of the lobelia in our garden, and set the poem against the background of flowers. The writing in this picture is a bit small to read the poem easily, so I have included a plain text version at the end of this blog.
I also asked another dear friend if she could prepare a family tree for Barbara; My reasoning was, if there is someone at the home where she lives now, and who has the time to go through it with her, it might help Barbara to remember more about her family, and reminisce about happy times she has had, especially if they can be linked to the holiday photos and other people in the album.
Barbara's birthday dawned a beautiful day, and we set off in good time to get to the home; it's rather a long and difficult drive, and we didn't want to have to rush, or be caught up in heavy traffic.
We arrived just as lunch was ending, and had a cup of tea until Barbara was sitting back in her chair in the lounge; the staff had gone to a lot of trouble to mark Barbara's special day, putting up a "Happy Birthday" banner over her chair.
Happy Barbara on her 86th Birthday
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Opening birthday cards
Barbara and Bob
Barbara had already opened the little gift I had brought for her - a pretty scarf, which she put round her neck - and then we helped her to unwrap the photograph album - it was quite heavy! - and I went through every page, talking about Barbara's family: her Mum and Dad, and the photos that had obviously been taken on happy family holidays.
Barbara was able to respond occasionally, especially when I could point out the pictures that I knew had been taken, for example, in the west country, like Lynton and Watchet; she would say, "Oh, yes, that's right!" Of course I can't be sure, but I truly hope happy memories came into her mind at those moments.
The staff also thought the Family Tree I had brought for Barbara was a brilliant idea, and they will spend time going through it with her, and help her to recall her family; it will also help them to understand Barbara better, her life and her background.
I also read the special poem I had written for her - emphasising the final line, "....How much we all love you!"
Barbara with her cards and flowers
Presently, the lovely lady who was in charge that afternoon came in bearing a beautiful chocolate birthday cake, with "Happy Birthday" on it, and the candle lit.
Is that cake for me?!
We tried to encourage Barbara to blow the candle out by herself, but it proved a bit much for her to manage that, so we all helped, and sang Happy Birthday with great gusto; I also recited my poem for Barbara:
A Birthday Ballade for Barbara
Every picture tells a story
Either covert or plain view:
How I wish I knew these people
And could share their point of view.
There are snaps of family holidays
Of people having fun;
Or lying on some springy grass
Soaking up the sun
There are tiny photos, black and white
Some sepia, stiffly posed;
A few hand-tinted specials,
All beautifully composed.
The colour prints are fading
Yet what stands out so clear
Is the way that all were cherished;
These loved ones, held so dear.
And so it’s been a privilege
A task performed with love and care
To tenderly place these precious prints
In an album for you to share
Your memories of times gone by:
Yet still they’re fresh and new;
And never forget, though years may fly,
How much we all love you.
Alexandra Wilde
21 August 2023
We all clapped our hands to applaud Barbara, and encouraged her to join in the applause - and she did, for a little while; we shared a slice of birthday cake but then, all too soon, it was time for us to leave and start the drive home, as we wanted to avoid the worst of the rush hour.
We've been invited back whenever we can manage to make the trip, and Bob has promised to bring his guitar again the next time we come, and we will sing and play for Barbara and all the residents.
We told Barbara we love her, and that we will be back as soon as we can; and I will continue to write to her. I think getting a proper letter in the post is really important, as she will know it is for her alone; there will always be someone available to help her to open it, and read it to her, and let her know we are all thinking of her.
What a good day; and how lovely to see how caring all the staff in Alexander House are, with all the residents.
