We Are All Prepared
It doesn't feel like nearly six months have passed since Mum died; and under normal circumstances, we would have arranged her funeral earlier, and the Service would have taken place within a very few weeks of her passing.
Instead of which, it has been rather like being in limbo, with Mum well taken care of by West and Coe, the Funeral Directors here in the south, whilst we waited patiently for the time to come when she could be collected by Cravens in Liverpool, and taken back up north.
And we have waited patiently; it is no good railing against things you cannot change. I remember my Grandma saying, it's best to know the things you can change; accept the things you can't change; and have the wisdom to know the difference!
We certainly knew we wanted to wait until the time came when we could have Mum's funeral conducted in the way she would have wanted; although there are still restrictions in place, and limited numbers allowed to attend, we can now sing and celebrate her life through prayer and praise.
We will follow all the guidelines to ensure everyone's health and safety, and although we may be very few in the Church on Friday, there will be people all over the world who knew and remember Mum, and who will be thinking of us, timing their thoughts at all the different times to coincide with the start of Mum's Service at 12.00 noon in Liverpool. To our minds, it doesn't matter where anyone is on earth; they have all been sent a copy of the Order of Service, and will be singing with us and keeping Mum, and us, in their hearts and prayers.
I am sure we shall feel everyone's loving thoughts surrounding us all.
Wednesday 16 September 2020
Monday 14 September 2020
A Tribute To My Mum, Phyllis
A Tribute To My Mum, Phyllis
I was asked by one of the reporters on The Liverpool Echo, to write a tribute to my Mum; I worked on it with Wendy and Al, and this is what I sent off to the newspaper:
My Mum, Phyllis, was loving and patient; a wonderful mum and good friend to so many people.
When Mum and I lived in Dar-es-Salaam, I remember trips to the beach, both of us eagerly searching for unusual shells. She also made all my ballet dresses, sewing the net into classical tutus. She supported me in everything I wanted to do, whether writing, singing or dancing – she was there, with my Grandma, for every show.
To her grand-daughter Wendy, Mum was a dispenser of sweets and treats, not usually available from her parents, a tradition that extended to her great-grandson Al, who has fond memories of circling items in the Argos catalogue - always sure that his dreams would be met!
My mum always demonstrated kindness, generosity and wisdom; ever there to encourage and support, to offer advice, and to meet challenges with a wonderous tenacity. She had an indomitable spirit, overcoming many hurdles in her life with good humour. She gave us all, the most precious gifts: her love and her time. She will be missed by everyone who knew her.
Wednesday 9 September 2020
We Have Been Busy
We Have Been Busy
Since Wendy and I went up to Liverpool last month to make the arrangements for Mum's funeral, the days have passed by almost in a flash. We have been busy, designing and proof-reading the Order of Service, and making sure everyone is primed about timings, etc. I also arranged for an Announcement in the Daily Telegraph, which will go in on Saturday, 12 September.
That was quite an interesting exercise in itself, mainly because it is extremely difficult to talk to a human being for advice; they all want you to go on line and Do It Yourself, but I am not good at DIY, and needed some guidance. It's also very expensive to place an Announcement, and I didn't want to find that if I had rewritten it with, say, one word less, I could have saved a lot of money: Mum would not have been pleased!
In the end, I left an answerphone message on a news desk telephone number, asking if someone could help me; to my relief, a short while later, a lady rang me back, promising to forward my request to a human being, and get them to call me on the landline.
Perseverance pays off: In due course, a very helpful gentleman called, and went through every word of the Announcement with me. He also advised me on the best day to place the announcement - Saturdays are good, because these are the days with the highest circulation - so we plumped for 12 September. He provided precisely the kind go advice I wanted, and guided me to the most effective wording.
I then got in touch with the Liverpool Echo. Again, it was almost impossible to speak to anyone directly! and I left an answerphone message on the news desk telephone number, giving a brief outline of Mum's life and asking if they might be interested in running a piece about a very interesting Liverpool lass.
To my delight, one of the reporters got in touch and said they would like to write about Mum, He asked, "Do you have anything written down about her? and do you have any photographs?"
"I certainly do!" I said, "and I can get them over to you by lunch time!"
I immediately set to work, creating a little set of a story about Mum and 8 photos - of Mum as a girl with Grandma in England, and then on the Empress of Scotland, going out to East Africa; there were others of Mum in Durban, and with us at The Ritz on her 100th birthday, and another in the garden, with Blackie and Pushkin. I also included copies of a couple of articles Mum had written for Best of British and This England, and sent everything off by e-mail.
Presently, the reporter called me again, requesting a little more information, including a tribute to Mum. I worked on this with both Al and Wendy, so it was a real team effort.
When I hadn't heard anything further over the weekend, on Monday, (7 September), I rang the Echo again. This time, to my surprise, I actually got through to another Editor, who told me the story had gone on line on 30 August. I was of course very pleased to hear it was out there, but also a bit disappointed that it might not go in the newspaper as well. I explained that as Mum had been over 100 years old, a lot of people that she knew were equally elderly, and it was very unlikely they would be using computers and apps to read the article; even their children would most likely be in their 70s and 80s, and may not be computer literate, either.
He understood what I meant; I said it would have been so important to Mum to know she would be featured in the Liverpool Echo, the city of her birth, and he promised to see what he could do. I can only hope something positive will come of it!
It makes me smile and exasperated in equal measure, at the carefree way most people under a certain age seem automatically to assume everyone, of all ages, will be able to access the latest information, using apps, tweets, Facebook, etc. You name it, they think everyone is au fait with the latest technology; but we are not, of course.
I predict one day someone will pull a great big plug out of the wall, and all the computers will sigh gently and close down. We shall then have to resort to sending proper letters; speaking to each other in person; and having human beings manning switchboards, putting callers through to the relevant members of staff who can help. This will do away with the dire automated menus, interspersed with music to drive you mad by, and long lists of options - none of which applies to what you want to ask.
I have a suspicion that these things are specifically designed to put people off contacting a company; they just encourage callers to give up and put the phone down.
One day this may change! Then I - and others like me - shall be ready to ride in with my superb inter-personal skills, and save the day!
Since Wendy and I went up to Liverpool last month to make the arrangements for Mum's funeral, the days have passed by almost in a flash. We have been busy, designing and proof-reading the Order of Service, and making sure everyone is primed about timings, etc. I also arranged for an Announcement in the Daily Telegraph, which will go in on Saturday, 12 September.
That was quite an interesting exercise in itself, mainly because it is extremely difficult to talk to a human being for advice; they all want you to go on line and Do It Yourself, but I am not good at DIY, and needed some guidance. It's also very expensive to place an Announcement, and I didn't want to find that if I had rewritten it with, say, one word less, I could have saved a lot of money: Mum would not have been pleased!
In the end, I left an answerphone message on a news desk telephone number, asking if someone could help me; to my relief, a short while later, a lady rang me back, promising to forward my request to a human being, and get them to call me on the landline.
Perseverance pays off: In due course, a very helpful gentleman called, and went through every word of the Announcement with me. He also advised me on the best day to place the announcement - Saturdays are good, because these are the days with the highest circulation - so we plumped for 12 September. He provided precisely the kind go advice I wanted, and guided me to the most effective wording.
I then got in touch with the Liverpool Echo. Again, it was almost impossible to speak to anyone directly! and I left an answerphone message on the news desk telephone number, giving a brief outline of Mum's life and asking if they might be interested in running a piece about a very interesting Liverpool lass.
To my delight, one of the reporters got in touch and said they would like to write about Mum, He asked, "Do you have anything written down about her? and do you have any photographs?"
"I certainly do!" I said, "and I can get them over to you by lunch time!"
I immediately set to work, creating a little set of a story about Mum and 8 photos - of Mum as a girl with Grandma in England, and then on the Empress of Scotland, going out to East Africa; there were others of Mum in Durban, and with us at The Ritz on her 100th birthday, and another in the garden, with Blackie and Pushkin. I also included copies of a couple of articles Mum had written for Best of British and This England, and sent everything off by e-mail.
Presently, the reporter called me again, requesting a little more information, including a tribute to Mum. I worked on this with both Al and Wendy, so it was a real team effort.
When I hadn't heard anything further over the weekend, on Monday, (7 September), I rang the Echo again. This time, to my surprise, I actually got through to another Editor, who told me the story had gone on line on 30 August. I was of course very pleased to hear it was out there, but also a bit disappointed that it might not go in the newspaper as well. I explained that as Mum had been over 100 years old, a lot of people that she knew were equally elderly, and it was very unlikely they would be using computers and apps to read the article; even their children would most likely be in their 70s and 80s, and may not be computer literate, either.
He understood what I meant; I said it would have been so important to Mum to know she would be featured in the Liverpool Echo, the city of her birth, and he promised to see what he could do. I can only hope something positive will come of it!
It makes me smile and exasperated in equal measure, at the carefree way most people under a certain age seem automatically to assume everyone, of all ages, will be able to access the latest information, using apps, tweets, Facebook, etc. You name it, they think everyone is au fait with the latest technology; but we are not, of course.
I predict one day someone will pull a great big plug out of the wall, and all the computers will sigh gently and close down. We shall then have to resort to sending proper letters; speaking to each other in person; and having human beings manning switchboards, putting callers through to the relevant members of staff who can help. This will do away with the dire automated menus, interspersed with music to drive you mad by, and long lists of options - none of which applies to what you want to ask.
I have a suspicion that these things are specifically designed to put people off contacting a company; they just encourage callers to give up and put the phone down.
One day this may change! Then I - and others like me - shall be ready to ride in with my superb inter-personal skills, and save the day!
Friday 4 September 2020
Arranging Mum's Funeral (3)
Arranging Mum's Funeral (3)
The next morning, we were up bright and early for breakfast, then drove into Liverpool, and found the Church in Sheil Road, where we were to meet the Vicar of All Saints. This was not in fact the Church where Mum's funeral will be conducted - that will be the traditional Church of St Mary's at Edge Hill, but it is now part of the new parish of All Saints.
We met Mike Coates, and had a brief chat, and then we followed him as he showed us the way to St Mary's. This is a very beautiful Church, with a rich history. I found some information on the internet about it - it was originally called St Mary's in the country; the foundation stone was laid on 14 January 1812, and it was opened for divine service on 14 March 1813. It also said that, until 1812, there was no Anglican Church at Edge Hill; the population was, however, growing rapidly. In 1812, Mr Edward Mason purchased a plot of land to build a church from Bamber Gascoyne Esq. (I do wonder if he is any relation to the former question master on the TV programme, University Challenge?!)
Mike listened patiently whilst we talked about Mum and her life, and then asked us some illuminating questions that made us think of the ways we would describe her. We felt he had taken a great deal of time to get a rounded picture of Mum, so when he talks about her, it will be as someone who knows her and can speak knowledgeably and with great understanding. We also explained about the sadness we have not being able to be in touch with Uncle John, and Mike said he will include a special prayer for him during the service, and the traditional version of The Lord's Prayer.
We also went through the hymns we know Mum wanted, and arranged the order in which they would be sung: Praise My Soul The King of Heaven; All Things Bright and Beautiful; Abide With Me and Bind Us Together. ; we chose Dear Lord and Father of Mankind as the music on arrival, and Wendy suggested O Worship the King for our departure from the Church; for the reading, we asked for 1 Corinthians, Chapter 13, verses 1-13.
Mike gave us template as a guide for the Order of Service, and Bob can begin to create it; I expect it will run to several pages, as Mike also requested that we print the words of the hymns as well. I think we would have done that anyway, but it is important now, because hymn books are not being handled by the congregation.
Well, I think Mum will be pleased with all the efforts everyone is making and we shall have a beautiful service for her, and a Thanksgiving for her life. We thanked Mike so much for his patience and advice; and then we set off back to Preston Brook.
On the way, I wanted to go back to FlowerBug, and order some flowers for Mum, on behalf of Uncle John. Gina was so pleased to see us, and we chose another little posy; there was a card printed with "Dear Sister" and Gina gave me a couple of those, for me to write for Uncle John.
Two more jobs, and then I was done: we found an HSBC bank where I could pay a bill, and a Post Office, where I got a letter weighed and posted. After that, it was back to the Hotel; we had already checked out, of course, but we went to the Beefeater, and had a lovely dinner, before turning the bonnet of the car south, and heading back home.
It had been 36 strenuous hours, but what a lot we had achieved! Apart from producing the Order of Service, I also need to find a nice restaurant where we can have something to eat after the Funeral. As the funeral is at 12.00 noon, and the interment at Kirkdale will be at about 1.00 p.m. - or perhaps a little later, depending on how long the Church service lasts, I think we will not be away from the cemetery until about 2.00 p.m., after which we will be driven back to Cravens in Broadgreen, to pick up our cars. As this is too late for lunch, and too early for dinner, we feel a full cream tea - with champagne if possible! - will fit the bill, and we will need to book tables for about 3.00 p.m.
That is another task for another day; there is still a lot to do, as I also want to place an announcement in the Daily Telegraph and I know Cravens will be putting something in the Liverpool Echo. I also have a very strong feeling I should get in touch with the Liverpool Echo, and tell them about Mum, and see if they are interested in running a story about her. I am listening to my instincts.
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