It's a Happy New Year - and a photo or three from 2018!

It's a Happy New Year!

Mum got to be at about 10.00 p.m. last night, so she didn't watch all the fireworks on t.v, which were pretty spectacular featured around the London Eye.

Before I went to bed at 1.30 a.m., I looked in in Mum, and she was half awake, so I said, "Happy
New Year, Ma!" and she replied, "Happy New Year," and promptly settled back down, to sleep on.

This morning, Mum was up early and washed and dressed, and sitting in the chair, so we had a very normal morning, with Mum eating all her breakfast.

She is back in bed now for a nap until dinner time, which gives me a chance to write a Happy New Year message to all the readers of this blog, and to wish us all, a happy, healthy, peaceful and prosperous 2019.

I have also got a couple of pictures uploaded onto the computer which I can attach to this entry; o.k., I should have put them up earlier, but I think everyone knows my IT abilities are sadly lacking - ask me to write a poem, or an article, and I'll oblige without turning a hair, but trying to get me to understand the mysteries of uploading pictures in such a way that I can attach them to this blog....well, that is another matter entirely.

So, with faith and hope that 2019 will prove to be a good year, here are some photos from 2018 that, to misquote a phrase from Blue Peter, I should have made earlier......

Mum and Wendy - 28 October 2018
Mum's 99th Birthday

Mum and one of her 99th Birthday cards

Christmas Day 2018

Wendy in her Elf outfit - Christmas Day 2018

Mum Remembers a Dear Friend

Mum Remembers A Dear Friend.

We have a wonderful friend, June, who lives across the road from us; over all the years we have lived  here, she has been a dear friend and neighbour, always ready to visit Mum and spend time with her. 

Even before Mum broke her ankle, and had to stay with us permanently, June would come over and see Mum, and talk to her; if Mum was in a "funny mood" (i.e., grumpy and unpredictable), June would say,"Oh, I'll come and see her - she'll be alright!" And, after a short while in June's company, Mum was indeed "alright," and in a much happier frame of mind.

At one time, June also presented Mum a beautiful rug, which Mum uses a lot, draping it over her knees to keep her legs warm. 

Just before Christmas, June came over to see us, and we had a great time chatting about this and that, and generally setting the world to rights. When it was time for her to leave, June said she would look in on Mum in her bedroom, and say "Hello."

We weren't sure if Mum would remember her, so I went in with June, and said, 

"Mum...."

"Yes?" 

"June's come to see you - do you remember June? She lives just across the road."

And Mum's reply was a brilliant early Christmas present for us all.

Without any hesitation, Mum said, 

"Oh, yes, I remember June." Mum patted the rug on her knee: "She gave me this lovely shawl."

We all looked at each other, amazed and delighted that such a good memory is still tucked away somewhere inside Mum's head. 

I think it is so important never to stop trying to stimulate someone's memory, and perhaps bring back

something good to the forefront of their mind.  

I know June was equally thrilled that Mum had remembered her so clearly; and the best part about it was that Mum was actually wearing the rug June had given her. 

After nearly a month of not writing an entry in my blog - I'm back!

After nearly a month of not writing an entry in my blog - I'm back!

It's not that the spirit has not been willing, or the flesh has been weak - more a case of in the run-up to Christmas, the days flew faster than ever; in my childhood memory, the expression "The clock is going on gingerbread wheels," meant no-one could ever catch up with it, as preparations for the festive season gradually took over. Of course, Mum is our No.1 priority ("No. 1 priority" - is that tautology?!) and she is always cared for and attended to before anything else can happen; but I love Christmas, and I love the meaning of it, which for me means also getting in touch with dear friends and family, contacting people who will be on their own over Christmas, writing letters - e-mail and snail mail - and finding the opportunity to have chats on the phone and catch up on each other's news.

There's a gentle pleasure in knowing you've let folks know you are thinking of them and wishing them well, and this year, everything got done in good time.

I don't go mad on grocery shopping at Christmas; unless on the day you're catering for dozens of friends and relatives, where do people put away all the food filling their overflowing supermarket trollies? Just because it's a Christmas dinner, no-one in our family can eat two or three times as much as they usually do, so my extra shopping consisted of a turkey (yup, I'm traditional when it comes to turkey), and Yorkshire puddings; an extra pack of carrots and peas, a stem of brussels sprouts (I'm not keen, but the rest of the family is!), and the usual turnip, swede and cauliflower vegetables, along with roast potatoes.  Oh, yes, and I got a chocolate Yule Log.... I am very partial to all things chocolatey, as anyone who knows me will confirm.

My main concern is getting everything cooked and ready to serve at the same time; this year, on Tuesday, it all went smoothly.

Mum did extremely well; she joined us at the dining table, and we all helped to make sure she ate properly. It was such a treat for me to have all my loved ones together at the same time, and also for Mum to take part in the festivities. Afterwards, we repaired to the lounge to open our lovely gifts, and  took a couple of photos so we can remind Mum later on of all that we did on Christmas Day.

We sang carols around the piano until the carers came at 8.30 p.m. (earlier than usual this evening, because they also needed to get all their calls finished, and have some time with their own families); after such an eventful day, Mum was very ready for bed!

I Perform Poetry Again

I Perform Poetry Again

Some months ago, at a poetry session held at a local Library, it was mentioned that on 24 November, there would be a performance of George Butterworth's Rhapsody on a Shropshire Lad, based on A E Houseman's poetry, and that there was a request circulating for someone to recite some of the poems.

I put my hand up to say I was very interested! and Paul Kelly, Chairman of the Havering Concert Orchestra, got in touch with me, to explain what they were planning to do. The concert would be the last event in the Havering Literary Festival, running from 5 - 24 November; the Concert would mark the centenary of the end of World War One.

George Butterworth was killed in 1916, shot by a sniper on the Somme, which made his music a poignant choice to commemorate the end of the war; it was decided I would recite 5 poems before the orchestra performed the Rhapsody.

The Concert Orchestra has an interesting history; not every town or borough has its own orchestra, but the Havering Concert Orchestra has been known as such for over 50 years, and has existed since at least the 1930s; it draws audiences from a wide area in Essex and beyond.

So! Having committed myself to the task, next came the serious business of memorising A E Houseman's work. With a few exceptions, most of the poems in the cycle are very short; I could have a copy of them as an aide memoire, but I wanted to be so familiar with them, and so comfortable with how I wanted to perform them, I thought committing them to memory was very important. There's an old theatre expression: "Practice is what you do whilst you're learning your lines; rehearsal is what follows when you have learnt them off by heart!"

There was a hiccup at the start of the day, when Mum did not get up with the morning call; she did not get up at the lunch call either, but slept right through all the carers' ministrations. The carers knew our concerns, so they brought the tea call forward for us, from 4.30 to 2.30 p.m., by which time Mum was at last ready to get up; it meant there was now time to get her dinner ready, and for Mum to eat it, before I had to leave for the venue.

Because I also wanted members of my family to be in the audience - even if only for the first half! - there was the additional necessity of organising a sitter to be with Mum whilst I was at the show; we had to find someone really suitable to take over for a couple of hours.

Happily everything fell into place, and I had the double delight of performing before a very receptive audience, and seeing my loved ones there as well.

I get such a buzz from doing my best to interpret the meaning and emotion from any writer's work, and trying to convey to the audience, the pictures I can see in my head, and it was such a thrill for me to be able to take part.

As a performance poet, I was honoured and delighted to perform the selected poems to complement the opening part of the programme, and afterwards I was very touched to be presented with a beautiful bouquet of red roses - such a thoughtful gesture.

This is the photo that was published in the programme:

(Just to prove I do scrub up well!)

Mum's Birthday Week

Mum's Birthday Week

The following day, (her actual birthday, Sunday, 28 October), Mum slept right through the carers' early call; even whilst they were washing her, and putting nice clean clothes on Mum, she didn't make a peep. She slept through breakfast time; she slept through the lunch call and dinner time. She was perfectly peaceful - just catching up on all the excitement of the previous 48 hours.

By 4.30, Mum was awake; she got up and we went straight to preparing dinner for her. Wendy arrived in the early evening, and Mum was ready for some more birthday treats. I had already decorated another birthday cake, with candles ready to be lit, and we brought it in, the candles all aflame, singing Happy Birthday - Wendy played piano, Mum cut the cake and we all tucked in to a slice.

After all the excitement of the previous day, we could tell Mum was still tired, so it wasn't a surprise that after she had her tea, and some family photos had been taken, she was ready for bed again; at least it was a start to get Mum back into something of her normal routine and timing. Other happy events associated with her birthday, like opening her presents and cards, stretched over another couple of days, which meant that for nearly a week, she continued to enjoy things to do with her birthday!

And looking at the photos taken at the Ritz, and the good memories we have stored away in the memory bank, it makes all the effort made by everyone, very worthwhile.

And Now, The Backstory To An Eventful Day

And Now, The Backstory To An Eventful Day

There is always a lot to do before we can set off in the wheelchair-accessible taxi and be driven to the Ritz; I am always aware that things can go wrong, right up to the last minute, but with faith and hope in our hearts, we were up bright and early in the morning - and so was Mum.

The previous day - Friday - had seen Mum extremely bright-eyed and bushy tailed; after being awake all day, and not sleeping when she went back to bed that afternoon for a nap, she did not sleep on Friday night, either. I went in to see her at midnight, 1.00 a.m., 1.30 a.m., 2.00 a.m. - and Mum was still wide awake and chatty - and at one point, told me she was ready to get up. I felt she was a little bit like a child waiting for Father Christmas on Christmas Eve: you know Father Christmas won't come if you are still awake, but you just can't get off to sleep.

With Mum still awake at 3.00 a.m. on the Saturday morning, I was absolutely tired out; with a final instruction to Mum, "Close your eyes now, and try and get some sleep!" - to which she replied, "I have got my eyes closed, but sleep isn't coming!" - I went off to bed, and hoped Mum would get a few hours' sleep herself.

But she didn't. When the carers arrived to wash her and dress her in nice clean clothes, Mum was still awake - on overdrive, but somewhere, the tiredness must have been making itself felt, because she was less able to co-operate and follow directions, which is always a sign that she needs to rest.

We followed the routine as best we could; Mum brushed her teeth and then I made breakfast - cornflakes and tea, and I put out the four pills she takes each day. She had a few mouthfuls of cereal and her tablets, followed by the tea, so at least her fluid levels were topped up; but she was too tired to have many more cornflakes, so we left them.

The rest of the morning and early afternoon passed by in a bit of a blur. Apart from making sure Mum was o.k., I also needed to get ready; an old RN joke is that for ladies to get their make up on and hair styled for a big "do," it requires as much time as a six months' dockyard job for a full overhaul on a ship! But I can definitely get it all done much more quickly than that.

The taxi was ordered for 3.30; as arranged, the carers were back at 2.30, to take Mum to the loo and help me to get her dressed and into the wheelchair.

By this time, Mum had been awake for about 30 hours, and it showed. She was reasonably co-operative, but it was almost as though she was on automatic pilot; although she wasn't asleep, things were not getting through to her.

Just in time, Mum was settled in the wheelchair; I told her our lovely driver, Eddie, would be along very soon to take us to The Ritz, but I wasn't sure she had understood what I was going on about. I just hoped that once we were in the taxi, and bowling along, she would perk up and wake up and enjoy the afternoon.

And indeed she did. Perhaps being in the fresh air for a few minutes as she was wheeled from the house to the taxi helped, and then we were off, bowling down the road. As we neared the Embankment, Eddie noticed there was quite a build-up of traffic, so he turned off to make a detour and avoid the worst of it; Mum noticed we weren't going on our usual route, so I took that as a good sign.

We arrived at The Ritz just before 5.00 p.m; the Concierge opened the gates to the car park, and we drove in, up to the wheelchair accessible entrance to the Hotel. A few minutes later, we were all settled in the lounge, with spare time to relax and take a few photographs.

We really think it must be time,
Now you're celebrating ninety-nine
To book a table at The Ritz -
The only venue that really fits
For such a special birthday treat
The Palm Court is the place we'll meet
And eat elegant sandwiches, salmon and ham,
And beautiful cakes, and scones and jam.

It took some time; there was much to plan
To ensure the day just flowed
Everyone played their part to help
Get us safely on the road.
Now happy memories we'll recall
A memorable day enjoyed by all.

And so, we made it! and even if it was only a couple of hours in elegant surroundings, I also felt I'd had a longer time away from home, than had actually passed.  Our lovely driver arrived at 7.30 to drive us home, and helped us get Mum into her bedroom; I made Mum another cup of tea and a slice of coconut cake. By then she was really tired, and when the ladies arrived to get her into bed, she was ready for it.

Mum's 99th Birthday Celebrations

Mum's 99th Birthday Celebrations

Well, we made it!

We had wonderful day on Saturday, 27 October, when we celebrated Mum's birthday with Tea at the Ritz. As I've written before, whatever else Mum remembers or forgets, she always remembers our visits to The Ritz; the Palm Court Manager and his staff remember us, and everyone makes such a fuss of her. Mum looks forward to the day, enjoys it whilst we are there, and talks about it for weeks afterwards.

She loves the elegance of the Palm Court, and variety of sandwiches (with one platter of cucumber sandwiches made to order just for Mum and me, very simple plain white bread and butter with no other dressing - and, of course, no crusts!) followed by scones, cream and jam, cakes, and a great selection teas on the menu from which to choose.

I think the whole ambience of The Ritz captures Mum's imagination, taking us all back to an age when things were done with style and panache. This visit was no exception, and afterwards Mum was presented with a copy of the beautiful centenary edition book about the Ritz Hotel, which is a lovely memento of the occasion.

It is never easy organising an event like this for someone like Mum who has dementia is disabled, but everyone played their part to make sure it all went smoothly and to time, and we had a very helpful driver of the wheelchair-accessible taxi who took us to and from the hotel.

From the happiness on Mum's face in the photographs, I think it shows all the effort was worthwhile, and goes to prove that, with everyone doing their bit, and co-operating with each other, nothing is impossible.

On this occasion, we were joined by our good friend Owen Hayward from the Epping Ongar Railway - and he is the young man who helped me to set up this blog, for which I am so grateful. Owen celebrated his 25th birthday two days after Mum's special day, and we were all so happy he could be with us and share a joyful experience.

I think Mum is now dreaming of the next time we can all go for Tea at the Ritz; with faith and hope, we shall have to see if we can arrange it.

Mum and Alex at The Ritz