We Arrange Mum's Funeral (1)

We Arrange Mum's Funeral (1)

In some ways it feels such a long time since Mum died on 23 March, and yet it is not yet even five months ago. We have done a lot since then, especially finding a good funeral director locally, who was able to take care of Mum, and reassure us they could keep her for as long as necessary, at least until we were able to arrange her funeral in Liverpool, in the way that she would like it to be conducted. 

With all the restrictions imposed by the virus - and we are obedient and follow all the guidelines - we didn't want Mum's send-off to be a rushed, half-hearted affair, especially as it is an interment in the family grave in Kirkdale cemetery in Liverpool; so we decided to wait as long as necessary, to do things properly. Now things are easier, and we will be allowed to sing in Church and raise our voices in praise and prayer. 

Two weeks ago, Wendy and I went up to Liverpool last week, to meet the undertakers - we are using the same company that organised Grandma's funeral, back in June, 1985 - organise flowers, and meet the Vicar. 

We set off at "0 crack double 0" - which meant I got up at about 4.00 a.m!  - and had a pretty good run up north, stymied only once by a hold-up on one of the motorways, when not only were we not even inching forward, we were not making any forward progress at all! We had arranged to meet the funeral Director, Tom, at 12.30, and this was one occasion when I found my ancient (i.e., one up from the brick) mobile phone handy: I rang him to say we were stuck for a while, but at least he knew we were on our way.

When at last we arrived, there we were still in good enough time to have comprehensive discussions and make decisions. It felt strange looking at a brochure for coffins, but we chose a nice one, and also made decisions about an announcement in the Liverpool Echo (yes), and a limousine to take us to the Church (yes) and then on to the cemetery. We also reminded Tom we had been told by the Vicar that we would be allowed to sing, and so an organist will be required. 

It was all quite simple, really, and after going through the list of things to be done, Tom then said he was show us where our family grave is in Kirkdale cemetery. It's not surprising I couldn't remember where it was; the last time we were all there was in 1985, when Grandma was buried; even though Liverpool City Council had sent me a map, my almost non-existent sense of direction would have made things difficult! and it was good to have someone to guide us. 

The cemetery is really nicely kept; all the grass was mown, and although our family grave doesn't yet have a headstone, it is next to Aunt Marian's grave, which does, so it wasn't too difficult to find. Tom had been there before we arrived; he had also requested cemetery staff to mark the grave for us, which they had done.

Tom had done a good job in making sure everything was well organised for our visit; after we said goodbye to him, Wendy and I drove to a florist called "FlowerBug" to meet Gina. I had already had very understanding conversations with her on the phone, and she knew exactly what we wanted: nothing too ostentatious - Mum preferred flowers from the garden - and no lilies; we all sneeze our heads off with them, and I can't stand the smell, either! 

We chose a simple two-foot long spray to go on top of the coffin, and decided on little posies, one from each of us, to go with the coffin as well. Gina said she would make ribbons with "Mum," "Grandma," "Great Grandma" and "Phyllis" in gold letters printed on them; she made a complete list of the different coloured posies, and which ribbons should go with them. 

We didn't want Mum's grave to be left bare; we can take the ribbons home with us after the funeral, and still leave the flowers behind, which seems to be the best of both worlds.

By then it was getting late in the afternoon. Wendy and I were both tired, hot and thirsty, and felt we had done a good job so far, and so it was time to find the hotel and check in, and get something to eat and drink. It had already been a long day!