It's Not What You Say, It's The Way That You Say It......

It's Not What You Say, It's The Way That You Say It.......

In spite of having dementia, Mum can learn new things. 

It's Not What You Say, It's The Way That You Say It.....

My daughter Wendy has a pussy cat, called Artemis. Mum knows nothing about Greek mythology, and there is no way she would learn or remember that name, so I had to think of a way to help her. A simplified version of the name would do so, along with some miming, I set about trying to get the name to stay in her memory. I hit on the idea of pretending to hold a palette, and mimed mixing paints and then making extravagant brush strokes in the air.

Mum enjoyed this as a game; we have played charades in the past.  

Alex:  "What am I doing?"

Mum: "Oh, you're drawing!"

Alex:  "Right! And what do you call people who make drawings?"

Mum:  "Artists!" 

Alex:  "That's it! And that is what Wendy's pussy cat is called - Artist."

And so Artemis became Artist in Mum's head; and that was close enough.

When Mum is drinking her tea, we help her to finish it by suggesting she has one mouthful in turn for all the pussycats. As I've mentioned before, we do "rounds," mentioning all the cats in turn; occasionally, Mum forgets the name "Artist." 

If you then say, "Have a drink for Wendy's pussy cat - what is she called?" Mum may or may not come out with the right name - it is a bit hit and miss, and can sometimes elicit all sorts of strange, totally unrelated names: "Liverpool....." "....Australia...." "......Morrisons..." (Where did that come from?!)

If, however, you phrase it with a bit of a lilt, and emphasis on certain words:

"Let's have one for Wendy and Al's pussy cat; what's her name?" Mum will invariably say, "Artist!" 

Great praise all round for her good memory, and another mouthful of tea goes down.