I Catch Up With Friendships From 1964
Back in 1964, I was living in Durban, and had started work at The Daily News; my dream job! I had a flat in the centre of town, from where every day I could walk to the newspaper offices in Field Street; I usually went home for lunch (oh, the joy of everything being close by, and not needing a car!) and my Grandma always had something nice prepared for me.
Apart from working on the paper, I was also involved with so many other things: dancing competitively, singing at the Durban City Hall, and acting in various dramas and musical productions; I was also meeting the artists who came out on tour to South Africa, and reviewing their performances. Without my Grandma's help, taking care of getting the shopping in, and making sure I was fed! I couldn't have done half the things I did. My Mum was working in local government offices, and she was also very supportive, attending all the shows I was in; I always made sure Mum and Grandma had two of the best seats in the house.
If I didn't go home for lunch, I would walk to Medwood Gardens, a delightfully secluded little haven not far from The Daily News. Although it was so much in the heart of Durban, it was lovely to sit under the shade of a tree and and have a couple of sandwiches my Grandma had made for me.
On one afternoon, another lady was sitting in the Gardens, and we got chatting. She told me she was on her way back to Perth, having been back to England for the first time since going out to Australia many years ago.
It's strange how you can really feel a great rapport with people you have only just met; but this lady and I certainly felt connected, and she invited me to join her on board the ship she was travelling on, and have dinner with her that evening. You could do that in those days; it was so civilised! and I happily accepted.
By the end of the evening, she had told me so much about her life in Australia. She lived some way outside of Perth, and had a son and two grandsons; I shared with her my experiences in East Africa, and the details of my much smaller family, and although we were years apart in age, we became firm friends. We swapped addresses, and agreed one day we would meet up again.
And so we did. It took many years; but for some friendships, time means nothing; you can go for a long time without actually meeting up, but when you do, it is as though the time between has hardly existed at all, and you just pick up where you left off.
After I returned to England in 1970, my friend came over to England twice with her husband, and stayed with us - we had such happy times, and really enjoyed their company. After she died, I still kept in touch with her family, and when Wendy and I visited Perth in 2008, of course we visited them as well. So are the strong bonds of friendship forged.
On this trip with Wendy, we had already made arrangements to meet up with the family, and on our second day in the city, we drove to another area about half an hour away, to spend happy times with her daughter. We hadn't had the pleasure of meeting her before, but from the minute she greeted us at the front door, I felt as though I was back with my dear friend from Durban days in 1964; they looked so alike, with the same mannerisms and warmth, and we had a wonderful time reminiscing about our families, and times past. Maybe we have all known each other in a previous existence, but this visit was one to remember.
What I had not known when I first met my friend in Durban, was that she had been caught up in the disgraceful "Oranges and Sunshine" scandal, perpetrated by both the British and Australian governments; it began in the early part of the twentieth century, and continued for many decades. During this terrible time, children were shipped out to Australia, many having been told they were orphans, when they were not. Some may have been placed by their family, during a temporary hardship, in a children's home, but with the intention of being taken back by their loved ones, when things improved; but these children were still considered suitable for this "grand decision" by the authorities. Once taken to Australia, they virtually disappeared. There is a full explorative documentary film about these children available, called "Oranges and Sunshine;" not only were the children deprived of their right to a home life with the families, once abroad many were treated appallingly badly, and abused in many ways.
It was only by dint of determined investigation that my friend had established where her birth family were living in England, and in 1964 had managed to return home, and meet up with them. When I first met her, my friend hadn't talked about this aspect of her trip; she was always a very private person, and knowing now what had happened when she was a very young child, it made me terribly sad to think of all that wasted time she had gone through, without the comfort and support of her blood family; but in the end, I was just so glad she had been successful in meeting her English family again.
Driving back to our apartment, we followed the railway line, and I managed to get a quick pic of the train as it whizzed by! A happy end to a memorable day.
