We have such a close-knit band of carers, and they all know Mum really well. When she talks about "Johnny-boy" they know that is her pet name for her "baby" brother; Mum might be 100, and Uncle John might be 96 1/2, but he will always be her baby brother, and "Johnny-boy" to her
Since we discovered how ill Uncle John is, and how badly his son is dealing with his affairs, it has been a source of sadness and worry to us all, trying to find out what is happening.
After Wendy got home in June, we have not been allowed to speak to Uncle John without his son giving his permission. Because of the 9 (and now 10) hour time difference, it could be tricky to get a moment when both Mum and Uncle John are awake at the same time; in the past, and when Uncle John was well and in his own home, I would normally ring him whilst Mum was having her breakfast, and Uncle John having his supper; that worked pretty well. Now that Uncle John is ill, and sleeping more, trying to snatch a moment when they are both able to talk to each other is made impossible by attempting to obtain Johnny's permission for Uncle John to take the call. I have tried everything I can think of to try to re-establish our right to speak to Uncle John, but the staff at the Nursing Home have to follow the orders given in a letter from Uncle John's son, and which is placed on Uncle John's file, which is that no-one can speak or see Uncle John without Johnny's say-so. So far, the only person who had the right to visit Uncle John in the Nursing Home, was a Social Worker from ADA Australia; she went three times, but on two occasions, Uncle John was asleep, and on one visit when she was there, and he was awake, he was obviously not confident enough to open up to someone who was a virtual stranger. The Social Worker reported they could do no more.
I got in touch with the Police, and two policemen had to ask permission to visit; on this occasion, Johnny said Yes, so they were able to talk to Uncle John, but only spoke to him on matters of how he felt about the Nursing Home.
The Nursing Home is lovely, and the staff are caring, but no-one thought to ask the $64,000 question: "Why is Uncle John's son behaving like this, and preventing contact from us, Uncle John's loving family in England?" On 22 July, I filed a complaint to the Office of the Public Guardian, about the way Johnny was abusing his Power of Attorney; I was told the investigation is continuing, but over four months have now passed, with no definite answers. If it goes on much longer, it won't matter, because Uncle John could die. I also had a lot of sympathetic understanding from the British Vice Consul in Brisbane, and she would have been very happy to visit Uncle John, and arrange volunteers to see him as well, and take him out and about for little treats; however, when she asked permission to see Uncle John, again, his son refused.
I got in touch with Mum's MP here in the UK, and he also understood the problem, and said he would write at once to the Nursing Home. However, because we are in the middle of a general election, all the MPs are in Purdah, and he can do no more for us at the moment, and he asked the Nursing Home to respond to me directly. It comes as no surprise that, to date, we have not received any communication from the Nursing Home in Jindalee!
I have written to the Prime Minister of Australia, with a plea for him to help us move things along. I simply cannot understand why this situation is being allowed to continue, and why no-one challenges Johnny about his behaviour. I have received a reply, saying my request for help has been passed on to the State Government in Queensland; I am now just praying someone there will take this up and deal with it.
Listing all these things we have done to try and keep in contact with Uncle John, has brought me to one thing Mum kept asking about: When can she speak to her brother again? It had also not escaped her notice that for the first time, and for this most significant birthday, she had not received a card from Uncle John.
This is where the kindness of Mum's carers came in.
One of the young ladies, Sydney, asked for some photos of Mum and the family, and she arranged for a very special birthday card to be produced with pictures from Mum's past. Taking pride of place, in the middle of the card, was a beautiful photograph of Uncle John and Mum, taken at one of our earlier trips to The Ritz, when he stayed with us one summer.
It was such a kind and thoughtful thing to do; in spite of all the problems we have, it meant Mum did have a contact of sorts with Uncle John, with a picture of the two of them displayed on a beautiful card. She was so happy to have it.
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| So Mum had a card with her baby brother on it, after all! |
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| Home Sweet Home - truly living up to their name! |
