I Try Once Again To Contact Uncle John

I Try Once Again To Contact Uncle John

I am still trying to get through to Uncle John, so a couple of weeks ago, I rang the home, and spoke to the Receptionist - the same one we have had conversations with before.

I promised to take up no more than a few minutes of her time, and she said I could go ahead and put forward my queries to her:

I reminded her that the Office of the Public Guardian report had upheld the allegation that Uncle John's son was preventing Uncle John from contacting, or speaking  to anyone.

Then I asked

1) Since he was transferred there from St Vincent's Hospital on 1 May 2019, has Uncle John been taken out of the Home at any time?
2) Did his son take him home at Christmas?
3) Did his son take him out at any time last year?
4) Does Uncle John get any visits from his other friends?
5) Are there any personal mementos from his past life - books, pictures, photos, etc. - in Uncle John's room?

The Reception's reply was polite, but firm. She could not answer any of my questions, but added:

"John Woods Senior has said he does not want to speak to anyone on the phone. That is his decision, and we must abide by it."  She added, "He has everything in his room that he wants."

My astounded  response was: "How is it that, until now, the mantra has been that Uncle John does not have mental capacity to make any decisions for himself, and all requests for contact must go through his son? And now - after the OPG have issued their advice to his son to help Uncle John maintain contact and relationships - suddenly Uncle John does have the mental capacity to make his own decisions - and he has said, he doesn't want to?

Just a reminder:

Findings 

The allegation is substantiated in that there are contact restrictions in place. However there is conflicting evidence provided regarding Mr Woods’ (Snr) wishes in relation to receiving visitors and investigators were unable to obtain his views and wishes in this regard. 

Conclusion 

1. The Public Guardian considers Mr John Woods (Snr) to have impaired capacity for financial and personal/health matters. 

2. On the basis of the findings outlined above, the Public Guardian considers it necessary to take the following protective action in relation to Mr John Woods(Snr) : 

a. Advice issued to Mr John Woods(Jnr) under s.18 (1)(a) of the PGA as follows: Mr Woods(Jnr) must consider General Principle 8 and maintain Mr John Woods (Snr) existing supportive relationships 

The Receptionist just reiterated that "...it was Mr Woods' Senior's express decision." She repeated this several times.

I was also able to ask if Uncle John had any personal money? Immediately I was in Deja vu territory, when she replied, "Mr Woods does not need any money. The Home provides everything that he needs."

My blood ran just a bit cold, as I recognised this sentence as exactly the same one Uncle John told us Johnny had said to him, last year: "You don't need any money here, Dad, the Home provides everything..." When Wendy was with Uncle John in June 2019, Uncle John told both Wendy and me that he had no spending money at all; he said, "I haven't got a bean... not a brass farthing..." and he was not happy about it.

Three weeks ago, I rang the OPG in England for some further advice about allowances for residents in care homes.  I was told everybody was entitled to have spending money - it's a basic right that all care home residents should have a little money, that they can spend as they like.

Now, I felt like asking - but of course I didn't! - if "...provision by the Home for everything that Uncle John needed..." might also include buying a 100th birthday card for his sister, and paying for the stamp to post it to Mum? and what about a card at Christmas?

Nothing changes. Johnny is so cunning, but no-one sees it, or seems prepared to speak out against his treatment of his dad.

a)  To begin with, Johnny went around quoting his Power of Attorney that allowed him to deal with Uncle John’s life, because Uncle John no longer had mental capacity, and he forbade us - and  anyone else - to speak to or visit Uncle John.
b)   Then the Office of the Public Guardian’s report, 5 May 2020, confirmed that Uncle John had impaired capacity, and had issued advice to maintain existing supportive relationships. 
c)   Johnny has now got round this by making sure everyone in the Nursing Home says it is Uncle John’s own decision that he doesn’t want to talk on the phone. How come Uncle John suddenly now has mental capacity to make his own decisions?

Does this mean Johnny can now put his hands up and say something to the effect of, "Well, it's nothing to do with me anymore... It's my father's own decision...?!"

Following my e-mail to her on 5 June, on 9th June, our Solicitor sent me an e-mail, to say QCAT had been notified that I was happy for them to deal with her.

The Tribunal had informed her that they had a) sought a response from  Mr Woods, but no response to the application has been provided; and b) is in the process of obtaining a medical report, which is different to that prepared by the OPG and has been requested by the Tribunal from the facility in Jindalee.  Once the medical report has been received, the Tribunal will determine the matter.

Well. It will be interesting to see if the medical report now says Uncle John has mental capacity to decided what he wants to do!

I am not hopeful; but I have more ideas in store. I shall not give up.

I Instruct A Solicitor

I Instruct A Solicitor

This is becoming hazy; dealing with smoke and mirrors, where so many people say so many different things, and you feel no-one is ever going to be straight with you.

I confirmed our instructions with a Solicitor in Brisbane, paid the starting fee and gave her authority to deal with QCAT on my behalf.

She came back to me very quickly, to say that she had been in touch with them, and specifically with the case officer for my application; and that the case officer had confirmed that:
"

1. the Application could not be passed on for determination immediately because further information was required from you; 

2. the Application has been passed on for determination with a QCAT Member as of last week;

3. most applications with QCAT have been delayed as a result of COVID-19, including yours; and

4. she cannot provide a time frame in which the Application will be determined as this will depend on the QCAT Member’s workload."

I was very upset by QCAT's response, and replied to the Solicitor by return, clarifying what had actually happened, and appending the e-mails I referred to, which proved the delay had not been down to me:

"Thank you very much for your e-mail received this morning.

Firstly, I am very happy for you to be kept informed of any progress with taking the case for Uncle John before a Tribunal.

Secondly, in reply to the points raised by the case officer:

1) a) Exactly what information did QCAT require from me? When I submitted all the forms in January, I enclosed all the supporting evidence - photographs, lists of people I had already contacted (e.g., Megan Hunt, the British Vice Consul; the Police; a petition to Scott Robinson, Prime Minister of Australia; ADA Australia), plus a list Social Workers from both Princess Alexandra and St Vincent’s Hospitals, who had received confirmation from Uncle John himself, that he wanted us to be told of his progress, and remain in contact with us.

b) It is I who have made all the running, with phone calls, and follow-up e-mails, asking what is going on. QCAT never approached me for any more information.

c) The Office of the Public Guardian’s report was at long last complete and sent to me on 5 May. On 7, May I spoke to the Officer from the OPG; I then e-mailed her, with the name of the case officer at QCAT who was dealing with the matter, and the Case Number. The OPG Officer said she would forward the report on to QCAT.

d) On 7 May, I also e-mailed the Officer at QCAT, to say the Officer at the OPG would be forwarding their report to her. In this e-mail I also wrote “…we have had no updates at all.”

e) Then, when I discovered the Officer at QCAT had not received the report from the OPG, I sent it to her myself, on 14 May.

2) At no time did anyone at QCAT say they required any more details from me. Is it the case they could not proceed until they had the OPG Report? I was told by QCAT, that once they had received the forms, they would be in the process of being dealt with. It now appears we are at the back of the queue.

3) I appreciate there are problems with COVID 19, but people are still able to work from home, and surely there should be a possibility of ensuring business continues - at least in some way - as usual, particularly when it relates to elderly, ill and vulnerable people.

4) If we are now depending on the QCAT Member’s workload, again, is no consideration to be given to the length of time we have already waited? In view of Uncle John’s great age and terminal illness, could it be placed before someone able to bring it forward to achieve a resolution? I feel throughout this whole process, it has been stalled so many times, and if they wait much longer, they won’t have to bother, because Uncle John will be dead. How much longer does he, and we, have to wait?

I will attach the e-mails I sent to the Officers at both the OPG and QCAT, as listed above. I hope they will help you to clarify the position with QCAT.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely

Alexandra

1 c) My e-mail to the OPG on 7 May, with the details for Uncle John's case at QCAT:
1 d) My e-mail to QCAT, sent on 7 May, advising the OPG would be sending the OPG Report.
1 e) My e-mail to QCAT sent on 14  May, forwarding the OPG Report. "

So far, I've had no response. On 5 June, I sent another e-mail to my Solicitor, asking for an update;
I am now in the position of having to say:

 "WATCH THIS SPACE!"

Why Do I Believe People Will Do What They Say?

Why Do I Believe People In Authority Will Do What They Say?

Monday morning (gone midnight our time, 9.00 a.m. Brisbane time) 10 days ago, I rang QCAT and to my amazement managed to be put through to the Officer designated to Uncle John's case.

She had not been sent the Report from the Office of the Public Guardian (the one they had promised to send to QCAT!) so I said I would forward it to her myself. She then gave me a direct e-mail address, so that it would land straight in her in-box, and not have to progress through a tortuous route via the general "enquiries" address.

She sounded very sympathetic and understanding about Uncle John's age and frailty, and how concerned we are at the length of time it has taken the OPG to actually get the report sent to us, that I actually began to hope that at last she was taking it seriously and would do everything to expedite the presentation to the Tribunal.

I made sure the files were not too big, and divided them up attached to 3 or 4 separate e-mails; the Officer said they would be with the Tribunal that afternoon.

So that was Monday. On the Tuesday morning, I rang her again, to check everything had arrived safely, but was told she was day off on Tuesdays, and that I should ring again on Wednesday,

Wednesday, 1.00 a.m. As instructed, I called again; but this time she had gone into a meeting. that "...would last for hours."  I said I'd call again tomorrow.

Thursday, 1.00 a.m. - Again, no luck in speaking with anyone in charge; I was just told the officer wasn't available.

No-one can accuse me of not being persistent. Friday, 1.00 a.m. - I spoke to the same woman who had answered my call yesterday. This time, she was quite - what I call - "rudely polite." Clearly I was a great nuisance; she said she "...had to remind me that I must be patient!"

I pointed out I had been patient for a long time: since 20 January, in fact, when I first forwarded the forms to them, and had been told an Interim Order would take 3 - 5 weeks; as it all related to my Uncle, aged 97, with terminal cancer, how much more patience did they think he (or I) should have? For good measure, I added that the Officer dealing with the case had told me on Monday that the matter would be before the Tribunal that afternoon.

I could tell that did not go down well. I was curtly reminded again I must be patient. Clearly I was not going to get anywhere with anyone in QCAT this week.

It is a disgraceful situation, especially as I also contacted the Office of the Public Guardian here in England again, and they were shocked at the attitude of the OPG in Brisbane. If the same concerns had been raised here, it would have been dealt with much more swiftly, and they would be able to make sure their recommendations were carried out. They have teeth!

But we are not in England. We are dealing with the authorities in Brisbane, and that is that.

So then I decided it was time to try and find a Solicitor who would be willing to help.

I rang the Law Society in Australia and whilst they are not allowed to recommend any particular firm, they were able to give me some guidelines as to what to look for. It's still rather like taking a pin and aiming for some location on a map, but I picked a firm that had a normal landline telephone number that I can dial from England, and tried that.

I am hoping I struck lucky. I explained the problem to the lady who answered the phone, and after a short wait, she put me through to one of the solicitors. She had obviously been told the basic details of what help we need, and seemed to have got quite a full grasp of it.

She took my e-mail address and said she would forward details of her firm and that I should confirm our instructions.

I had already prepared the e-mail with the attachments to go with it - photos of Uncle John, the original complaint I made to the Office of the Public Guardian, and their report, so it was all ready to go; I pressed "send" and then there was a hitch! It did not want to go and kept bouncing back to me, and eventually I had to use another e-mail address; happily that worked.

She told me because Johnny still has Power of Attorney she is not allowed to write to him (I'd been hoping a Solicitor's letter might have given Johnny pause for thought!) but she can help us with QCAT and try to expedite things for us.

If we can get a State Attorney appointed to handle Uncle John's affairs, that would be the best outcome, as  I think they would have to uphold the OPG's recommendations that Uncle John's existing relationships should be maintained.

Well, that is as far as I have got. I guess I still have to keep faith and believe someone will now act on our behalf, and quickly enough for a positive result (if there is one) to be helpful for Uncle John before it is too late.

I Send E-Mails To The OPG And QCAT

I Send E-Mails To The OPG And QCAT

Just a quick reminder: The OPG is The Office of the Public Guardian; QCAT stands for Queensland Civil and Administrative Tribunal.

I am never one to fire off e-mails, missives, letters etc., without thinking twice or thrice about it; but having heard nothing back from earlier e-mails I sent to the OPG, and not having had any confirmation from QCAT that they had received a copy of the OPG Report, I spent another 24 hours writing a "chivvy" ("are you getting on with it?") e-mail, first to the OPG and then, a day later, also copying it to the person appointed to handle the case at QCAT.

The first part of the e-mail is just reiterating what I had already flagged up in previous correspondence, but then I added more paragraphs to remind them that, when it comes to keeping older people active and happy and communicative,  I do know what I am talking about; after all, we loved and looked after Mum for 8 years, and she was always included in everything we did, and we encouraged to talk to all our friends and neighbours.

I hope you might also be able to view on You Tube the video I refer to in the email below - it of Uncle John talking to me in March, 2019.

Here is the extra information contained in those latest two e-mails sent last week to the authorities:


"I will attach a video Wendy made when we visited Uncle John in Princess Alexandra Hospital in March last year. My Grandson, Al, has made a file of it that he uploaded onto YouTube (he is a whizz when it comes to computers), so I hope you will be able to take five minutes to view it, and you’ll see how well Uncle John remembers things, and how he loved to reminisce about what he has done in his life. He is such an interesting gentleman.

Here is the YouTube link for you to view the video - you may have to copy this and paste into your browser https://youtu.be/H97l8T9aa6A  

I can only pray that QCAT will be able to help us get back in contact with Uncle John. If he has not been able to talk to anyone on the phone for nearly a year, I am not surprised if he is no longer keen to try using that method of communication now, and if the lady you saw checking his hearing aids and batteries was there when Uncle John was asleep, how could she know if the hearing aids were still functional for him, and if the ear pieces still fitted him properly? When Uncle John first moved to the TriCare nursing home, the staff said they could arrange calls on FaceTime, and when Wendy was with him in June last year, he was certainly happy to chat on Skype.

It is a fact that people become more withdrawn the longer they are left in isolation, and that is the situation my Uncle has found himself in: Cut off from his family through a vindictive attitude set forth by his son as a result of what has been confessed to be a deep-set hatred towards his dad. The situation we find ourselves, in which a brother is unaware of his elder sister's death, is shocking. Johnny is not using his power of attorney to care or protect his dad, he is using it to hold his father prisoner - to keep him segregated from the people who love him. 

I believe further mediation will fail. Johnny is ignoring, and will continue to ignore, not just general principle eight, but his father entirely. If the stance of the Office of the Public Guardian is to issue their report, give recommendations, and then not ensure those recommendations are enforced, is the Office truly doing everything in its power to protect the most vulnerable? I feel my Uncle has been let down and is continuing to be let down, being kept from even merely speaking to his family – now for nearly a year - since 22 June 2019. 

I sent forms by courier to QCAT in January, including Form 10 (appointing a formal Guardian/Administrator) and an Interim Order Application, which I understood would be actioned within 6 weeks. I have heard nothing from Mrs Taylor about how any application is progressing, so I hold out little hope there. 

I look forward to receiving your earliest reply."


So there you have it: the e-mails probably won't do much good, and I'll bet anyone five pounds to a pinch of pepper they won't come back to me, but at least I feel better for having written them!

A Disappointment - But No Surprise!

A Disappointment - But No Surprise!

It's as well I wasn't into bating my breath for too long, or got my hopes up high.

The report from the Office of the Public Guardian duly arrived on 5 May; according to the time-line in the report, it had been completed on 5 March, and signed off on 1 May, so there was clearly no sense of urgency about it, and complete disregard for Uncle John's great age and his state of health.

The bottom line is that 3 allegations were investigated: 1, that Uncle John's son was utilising his father's funds for his own benefit; 2, his son had discarded his property contrary to Uncle John's wishes, and 3, restricting contact and outings that is not in the best interest of Uncle John.

I was surprised to see how the Investigating Officer had worded the 3 allegations, because when I submitted the form on 22 July 2019, I explained Uncle John was very unhappy that his son had closed down his bank account, and taken full control of his money; he had wanted his son to open a joint account. His son had given Uncle John no spending money, and Uncle John was very upset about this; he wanted to be able to buy personal items for himself - sweets, a newspaper, batteries for his hearing aid, etc. I also wrote that Uncle John told us his son had said, "You don't need any money, because the Nursing Home provides everything"! but that took away every last vestige of his independence and without money, Uncle John couldn't even buy a card for Mum for her 100th birthday, or a Christmas card.

With regard to the second complaint, we provided photographs to show Uncle John had no clothes in his wardrobe, and no outdoor shoes; he was sitting in his pyjamas and dressing gown, with slippers on his feet. When she was with him in June last year,  Uncle John wanted Wendy to take him back to Marsden Gardens (where Uncle John had been living until he was taken ill in the March), to retrieve some of his possessions, but by then his son had forbidden Uncle John to leave the home. I rang the Warden at Marsden Gardens, and he told me Uncle John's son had come round on 1 May (the day Uncle John moved to the Nursing Home) and cleared everything out of Uncle John's unit. Uncle John complained he had not got a book, a photograph or anything from his past life in England, from East Africa, or the time when he spent two years in Romania. There was not one personal memento in his room, and it was clear to us that his son had not intended him to have anything.

No mention was made in the Report about the evidence I had provided to prove what Uncle John was complaining about, was true.

The first two allegations were considered to be not substantiated, but at least the third one was substantiated, in that Johnny is restricting contact and outings and that this is not in the best interest of Mr John Woods (Snr), as there are contact restrictions in place. The Report says they have issued advice to Mr John Woods (Jnr) under Section 18 (1) (a) of the PGA, that he must consider General Principle 8, and maintain Mr John Woods (Snr) existing supportive relationships.

I rang the OPG, but then came the part that was the nub of the matter: I was told the OPG can only "advise" Johnny about their findings; they cannot enforce them. This means the OPG is toothless; what a total waste of time all this investigation, over nine and a half months, has been.

They suggested I contact QCAT (already done, back in January, 2020 - and still no word from them!) and see if mediation will help.

We have a very dear, long-standing friend in Australia called Pamela, who thought that - because she isn't family, and "just a friend" - she might have some success in making contact with Uncle John. She rang Johnny, but he would not come to the phone, and sent his wife Jan to deal with the call. Jan told Pamela there was no way we could ever speak to Uncle John again, and we had said our last goodbyes, the last time we saw him (on 22 June last year).

Pamela was so sorry about it - she said, however much she had tried (and I know she would be lovely, and diplomatic on the phone), they were very stubborn on that. She said she had been very pleasant on the phone, but it didn't make any difference.

So now, where? This is something that offends my sense of fair play, of justice and of wanting to see someone who is good and kind have some happy times at the end of his life; the end of Uncle John's days should not be dictated by someone like Johnny, who is keeping Uncle John a virtual prisoner in the nursing home.

Forgive the mixed metaphors, but I still have more ideas in my head and up my sleeve, and hope I'll soon find an Ace to play.

With Bated Breath, We Await A Report About Uncle John

With Bated Breath, We Await A Report About Uncle John

We have still not been able to speak to Uncle John in the Tri-Care  Nursing Home at Jindalee. Yes, I know it is difficult at the moment with the lockdown situation, but that should never have prevented us from talking to him on the phone - there's no chance of spreading the virus that way.

A quick update of how long it has taken to get any response from the Office of the Public Guardian (OPG) and/or the Queensland Civil Administrative Tribunal (QCAT) offices in Brisbane:

22 July 2019: I sent the forms and supporting evidence to the OPG, requesting an investigation into the way Uncle John's son, Johnny Stephen Woods, was operating under the Power of Attorney given to him by his father. Having taken advice from Social Services here, I was sure they would find Johnny was abusing his Power of Attorney, firstly and fore mostly  by forbidding us to have any contact with Uncle John.  It was not just we who were not allowed to communicate with Uncle John - no-one else was granted permission to visit/speak to him either, including the British Vice Consul, and other friends in Australia, who would have been happy to keep in touch with him. It would seem that at no stage was Uncle John asked what he would like, so that his wishes could be taken into immediate consideration - he is the most important person in all of this.

I believe Uncle John's son must hate not only us, but his Dad as well, to isolate Uncle John in such a way. Depriving him of any spending money, meant he couldn't buy anything for himself; Uncle John couldn't ask anyone to purchase a newspaper for him, some sweets or a birthday card for Mum's 100th birthday - and not even batteries for his hearing aids.

I know so well, if you take a deaf person's hearing aids away from them, you effectively imprison them in a silent world. I grew up with my Grandma (Uncle John's and Mum's mother). She wasn't born deaf, but started losing her hearing when she was about 25 years old, so by the time I was born, she was - as she put it, in a very politically incorrect way - "As deaf as a post!"

 29 July 2019:  I received an acknowledgement from the OPG, to say the investigation would begin, but that it could take a long time to complete the enquiries. I would be entitled to a copy of the report, when it was ready.

As the months rolled by, it seemed to us that the investigation was proceeding at a snail's pace, with no account being taken of the great age of both Uncle John and my Mum, or that time was of the essence.

January 2020: I couriered forms to the Queensland Civil Administrative Tribunal (QCAT) in Brisbane, making an application for an Administrative/Guardianship Appointment (which I was told could take three months) as well as an application for an Interim Order, which would take only 6 weeks; I opted for both. I had the name of the person in charge of the case, and a number to quote in correspondence. Over the following three months, I rang QCAT several times, speaking to various people who answered the 'phone, and asking how my application was progressing. They took messages, but nothing happened. No-one came back to me.

9 March 2020: I e-mailed the Office of the Public Guardian (OPG), to say Mum had been admitted to hospital, and that the doctors were very concerned about her.

12 March 2020: I had a reply to say the investigation was complete, and the report was up for review, which would be done as a priority.

30 March 2020: I wrote to the Queensland Civil Administrative Tribunal (QCAT) again, to tell them Mum had died on 23 March. I added:

"It is now too late for my Mother, but could you now please expedite my request for you to investigate the problems we  have had with my cousin exceeding his powers of attorney.

At the very least: Please could someone from your office find out if my Uncle still has his hearing aids, and full batteries, to allow him to have some communication with the staff at Jindalee Nursing Home? We are very anxious to speak to Uncle John, before it is also too late for him. He will be 97 years old on 28 April, and is terminally ill. We are concerned that with no money to buy batteries, and therefore unable to hear, Uncle John will remain totally isolated. Being deaf is a lonely disability."

I received no reply.

29 April 2020: I e-mailed the OPG again, to tell them Mum had died on 23 March, without ever having had the chance to speak to her brother again. Until the day she died, she was always asking to speak to him, and I said I thought it was a disgraceful situation that my Uncle's son, Johnny Stephen Woods, could prevent this from happening.

1 May 2020: Today I received an e-mail from the OPG, saying they were very sorry to hear of my mother's death, and unfortunately, after her review of the investigation report, there were further inquiries required that had now been completed and included in the report. This would be finalised as a priority next week... (I won't hold my breath!) and that I should have correspondence forwarded to me on Tuesday, 5 May.

Have the authorities no sense of urgency, especially when the enquiry concerns very elderly people, diagnosed with a terminal illness? Have they no heart, no compassion?  I was talking to a legal friend in Germany, and when I said, "I just think they are waiting for Uncle John to die, and then they won't have to bother!" he replied, "I think you're right!"

And now here we are, waiting with breath bated, for the report from the Office of the Public Guardian to come through: due tomorrow, 5 May. I hold out no great hopes that they will have found in favour of us maintaining contact with Uncle John, but we shall wait and see, and I hope to be proved wrong!

As I have said so often before, I need only one person to pick up the baton and run with it, and then maybe we'll be lucky and have the chance to make contact with Uncle John again before it is too late. If thoughts and wishes can cross oceans and continents, he may get some feeling we are all trying our very best for him.

Am I Becoming A TV Addict?!

Am I Becoming A TV Addict?!

Growing up in East Africa, there was no television; and then living in South Africa, television was not available in that country either. There were cinemas, theatres,  concerts to go to, and of course dear old "steam" radio - to my mind, after seeing a stage play, the next best thing was to hear it on radio. The most perfect leading man, the most beautiful leading lady, were to be found in your head, in your imagination - seeing a photograph of the cast could then prove to be a horrible disappointment! so better just to rely on their voices, and the atmosphere and sound effects created by the radio theatre workshops.

With this background, I never thought I would get particularly seduced by the goggle box; even when I came back to England in 1970, got married and had our daughter, Wendy, a telly was not high on the agenda of essential purchases. The first thing Bob and I did was to get a telephone - a shared line in those days, as there weren't enough lines to provide a private line to everyone! - and a piano.  We played, sang, I accompanied Bob when he played the clarinet and violin - it was wonderful, creating our own entertainment.

Then there were the times when Bob was away at sea; so that I would have something to watch, a kind friend offered us their old black and white t.v. - they had just gone on to colour, and as we had no set at all, we said "Yes, thank you!"

It was nice to have the chance to see as well as hear the news. I also enjoyed the wildlife programmes, but with a young baby to look after, there wasn't much time to become reliant on the box in the corner of the room.

Eventually, even we succumbed to the lure of colour programmes and with only 3 or 4 channels to choose from, we remained very selective; we still played, sang and our parties round the piano were very popular!

Now there are so many channels to choose from, I find it quite terrifying. No-one is going to live long enough to watch everything that might (just might!) interest them; so again, I tended to drop out of getting into all the various soaps and "must see" series that came along.

Looking after Mum also channelled our choice of programmes. When Mum couldn't concentrate long enough to enjoy a film or series on t.v. (she used to follow Murder She Wrote and Colombo) but later on she liked Homes Under the Hammer, which were short enough for her to remember what she thought she would do with a particular house to renovate it. Whilst she was having her dinner, we would watch a couple of quiz programmes together, Tipping Point and The Chase being two favourites. Wildlife films went down a treat, especially if they were about Africa; she could really relate to them, if they showed the deserts or jungles and the wild animals.

There were some programmes I quite fancied watching, but if they started at 9.00 p.m., even if they were on for only an hour, with the time schedule we had for looking after Mum and making sure she had eaten her dinner, it was usually impossible for me to watch them at the transmission time; a huge number of programmes were recorded, for me to watch later - whenever "later" might be.

The result is, there are dozens of films, series and single stand-alone programmes all sitting in the black box, just waiting for me to watch them - even those I have probably gone off by now anyway.

Since Mum died, these past weeks have been hectic, getting all the letters written, advising people, authorities, banks, etc., what has happened; but suddenly I found I was getting to the end of that very long list of things to do, and I actually had time for other interests.

And so now, with more time to spare: Am I turning into a TV addict?

In the past three weeks, I have watched the three 1-hour episodes of "Quiz," the programme about the first million-pound winner on Who Wants to be a Millionaire, who was then found guilty of cheating; and three 1-hour episodes of "A Very English Scandal," about the leader of the Liberal party back in the 1970s, who was accused of trying to have his lover murdered.

I have now watched 5 films:

Victoria and Abdul; a James Bond outing with Spectre; a very young Richard Burton in The Robe; Richard Burton again, in The Spy Who Came in From the Cold; and Cabaret, from 1972 - which I saw in a cinema in Portsmouth, when it first came out! (All that's missing now (with the earlier films) is the usherette in a frilly pinny, walking down the aisle during the interval, carrying a large tray with a halter neck ribbon around her neck and shoulders to support it, offering the audience "Ice creams! Cigarettes! Chocolates!")

I remember my Grandma telling me in Dar-es-Salaam, that she had read a book called The Robe, written by Lloyd C Douglas, and there was a film being made of it. The film came out in 1953, but I wasn't taken to see it; all these years later, through the wonder of television, here was my chance to watch it, and think back to my Grandma.

The patterns are changing, and we are winding down; what other treasures await - or lurk! - in the black box of recorded programmes?

It's very nice being able to sit down and relax and watch something uninterrupted; but with all the hundreds (?) of programmes sitting patiently in the queue - and yet more coming on screen every day - am I becoming a t.v. addict? Will I ever go to watch a film at "the flicks" again? Will I ever go to see a play in the theatre? Well ... (when the problems with the virus are over, as we all hope one day they surely must be, and we can go out and about more freely again) ... I jolly well hope so!